Title: Comfort of Fiends
Rating: NC17 easily!!!!!!!!
Feedback: Mys has decided that she actually likes FB, so… constructive crit is fine, just be prepared for Mys to defend/explain her choices, and try not to do any permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Warnings/Squicks: NON-CON- lots of non-con some implied some more graphic, ABUSE- both physical and mental!
Summary: Xander’s nightmares have piqued the curiosity of our favourite insanely jealous and protective peroxide vamp… the story he uncovers is disturbing, even to a Childe of Angelus.
---------A Fiend in Need---------
“Gods damn-it all Xander, as improbable as it may seem, you can talk to me.” The vamp was going insane, his boy was obviously upset, but he wouldn’t talk.
Since the night Spike had discovered exactly how bad things got at the Harris house, he’d set about befriending the boy and getting him the hell away from that place and those people. So far things were going well, Xander was enjoying his new job, construction work suited him, and he was settling nicely into his new apartment. Now if the boy would just open up a bit, but no, he was stubbornly silent. In a last ditch attempt to get a reaction from his boy, “’sides, not like I ‘aven’t sussed most of it myself.”
The young mortal snorted, “Yeah, and what is it you think you know, Spike? What? That my parents are alcoholics, that good ol’ Dad has a tendency to get wasted and take his frustration out on me? Well, newsflash Bleach for Brains, it’s old news and it’s not like I’m the only kid from a rotten home.” The mortal was raging and pacing, his emotions clamouring closer to the surface.
In a soft, heartfelt whisper the vamp replied, “You left out the bit where he rapes you.”
Xander spun on his heels to face the vampire, his rage evident and tears threatening to spill down his face. He was ready to lay into the vampire, defenceless or not, some lines shouldn’t be crossed, but the look on the blonde’s face, in his eyes stopped him. Pure, honest concern, and caring shown from those ice blue eyes. Almost more astonishing was the complete lack of pity. His voice, shaky and scared, asked, “How?”
“’m not stupid, Xan, knew ‘bout the beatings for a while. As for the other,” Spike’s eyes flashed fiery amber and he involuntarily snarled, “you told me.”
Xander’s eyes widened in terror, “I didn’t. I’d never,” the young man insisted.
Spike reached out a sculpted, black lacquered hand towards the human he’d been growing increasingly attached to. “Xander. You were dreaming, thought you were talkin’ to that Jesse fellow.” The vampire squeezed the boy’s shoulder reassuringly.
Suddenly, much to Spike’s dismay, the boy began laughing hysterically, he sounded as if he was coming unhinged. “Xander, mate? Xan? Oi, human, you’re scaring the demon, mate. Think you need to calm down.”
“That so, Spike. That what you really think?” Xander’s words were garbled and interspersed with frightening laughter. “Tell me, then, oh Fanged One, what if I told you that the only two people who knew about Mr. Harris’ exploits with his son, both turned out to be vamps and both were,” his hysteria seemed to be passing, or at least slowing, as he stared hard into Spike’s too blue eyes, “were my best-friends.” Xander barked a laugh, and his voice turned hard, “You should stay away from me Spike; I dusted the last vamp I cared about.”
That handful of words triggered a cascade of puzzle pieces falling into place, or at least falling into the general vicinity.
The girls’ reaction- if the boy had been turned, no wonder Red and the Slayer were so closed lipped.
Xander’s anger- to stake your best-friend that would be like him staking his Princess.
As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Spike pulled the unresisting human into a tight, protective embrace. “No wonder you’re such a shit to me and Peaches.”
A small smile touched his lips when he heard Xander’s half-hearted chortle. Slowly, the vampire moved them to the couch, then eased his boy into a comfortable position as he held him and let him cry himself to sleep.
Xander squirmed and moaned in his sleep, startling the blonde watching over him.
Not for the first time in recent months the young man had dozed off on ‘his end’ of the couch while watching the week’s offering of gratuitous explosions, excessive gunfire, and questionable, yet copious, amounts of blood with the vampire. It was a ritual that had been set in stone when Xander woke after his breakdown to find himself sprawled on one end of the sofa, a blanket draped over him, and Spike in a matching pose on the other end. There was no hateful or degrading snark. No recrimination for the previous night’s events. Just two guys, two friends sharing pizza, soda, booze, and bad flicks.
Another moan came from the dark form, this one more desperate and pleading then it‘s predecessor. Yet again, the vampire fought with himself over the distressed human.
Xander had made it clear that Spike was to stay as far away from the topics of Jesse and the boy’s nightmares as possible. And while Spike despised his boy’s pain, and the demon raged at being forbidden to protect his boy, Spike understood Xander’s need to maintain some vestige of control and he knew his boy would come to him when he was ready. He just hoped he’d be ready sooner rather than later, for both there sakes.
A whimper followed by a cry of pain tore at Spike’s gut, as Xander’s nightmare seemed to ratchet into a higher gear. He hoped it would pass quickly, the vamp didn’t think he could watch Xander in such torment very long without intervening. More whimpers and a plaintively murmured, “No,” and Spike no longer cared. Within seconds, the dark haired mortal was propped against the vampire’s firm chest with Spike’s arms wrapped protectively around him. Spike murmured and cooed, comforting the boy, once again thankful for the years of experience tending to his Dark Princess. The boy’s heart rate and breathing began to steady almost instantly, and sooner than Spike would’ve imagined Xander was again peacefully asleep.
“Oh god, babe,” panting, “yeah, so good. Jesus, Xan, …ungh… oh yeah, no fucking wonder. Always amazes me! …uhhh… no wonder...”
Xander knew better than to talk or respond other then pushing back against the body pounding into his. Doing so would only make the lies that much more blatant and he needed them. Needed to be able to pretend, to imagine tenderness, caring- anything other than revulsion at himself.
It had begun so differently. It had begun with hope and comfort. It had begun with an accidental kiss eight months ago. For months before that first not-so-innocent meeting of lips, Xander had taken comfort and refuge in Jesse’s arms. His mere presence a better salve than any conventional medicine. Even after the kiss, when the comfort expanded to include sensual kisses and wandering caresses, Jesse remained a remarkable balm.
Then things changed.
***Xander awoke terrified. His body still ached from last night’s beating and now he felt an all too familiar pressure against his ass.
A hand came around to pet his bare chest and abdomen, “Shh, relax Xan. It’s me. It’s Jesse, not him.”
The boy’s heart rate slowed a notch at the familiar voice and it’s equally familiar words.
Jesse rocked against him, “Oh babe. You make me crazy. Want you so bad, Xan. God let me in. Let me in. Gotta know. Let me in.”
Xander stifled a whimper as his best-friend entered him. After everything Jesse had done for him it didn’t feel right to say no, even if he’d had the chance.
“Xan, babe. So amazing, so tight- like a velvet vice! No wonder he keeps coming back. God! Incredible!” The disturbing litany continued on as he thrust into the boy, only ceasing when he finally came.
As Jesse emptied into Xander’s body, he stripped the boy’s cock, mercilessly wringing an orgasm from the teen.***
The change in breathing and pulse alerted Spike to his boy’s waking. He had two choices; he could move the mortal back to his original position- alone on the far end of the couch, or he could bare the boy’s ire. As far as the vampire was concerned the choice was simple, this farce had gone on long enough. Gently, he tightened his hold on the slowly waking young man, taking the opportunity to nuzzle into Xander’s soft curls. Whatever had been plaguing the young man would be dealt with today.
The boy’s heart rate suddenly shot upwards and the bitter scent of terror began rolling off of him.
“’s okay Xan, promise. You’re safe; can wake up now. It’s safe, Xan, safe.”
Bleary eyed, Xander looked up into concerned crystal blue eyes, sleepily, “Jesse used to tell me that.”
Unimpressed, “Did he?”
“Mm-hmm, but he never looked at me like that,” he inclined his head towards the vamp. “Not even after he…”
Spike stiffened, what had this Jesse done to his boy? Running long pale fingers through Xander’s hair, he tenderly asked, “After he what, pet?”
“Nothing,” he shook his head. “Spike?”
“Mmm,” the sound seemed more of a warm rolling purr that a ‘spoken’ response.
“Thank you… but,” the boy hesitated, “why?”
The undead blonde thought carefully before he answered, “Maybe ‘cause you don’t need to be going through this alone. Maybe ‘cause you remind me of someone from another life. Maybe ‘cause you need someone to care.” The vamp drew an unneeded breath before continuing, “Maybe I need someone to care for. Or could jus’ be that I like you despite myself, that you’re my friend, and I don’t like to see the people I care about in pain.” Spike stopped, tilted his head as he considered his own words, then added, “’less pain is what they want, but don’t think we’re there yet. Right, pet?”
Xander snorted a sad laugh, “No, so not there we aren’t even in the same solar system.”
They sat quietly for several minutes, Xander protectively tucked against Spike’s chest, while the vampire continued to pet and run his fingers through the mortal’s shaggy chocolate locks.
“That first time… he said I shouldn’t have been surprised. That it was the next natural progression of our relationship. Haha,” Xander barked, “next natural progression!?!”
Spike tightened his arms around the young man, offering what meagre solace he could from such fresh, painful memories.
“Thought he cared. When he found out about what my dad did…,” the young man shuddered, “He even said he loved me.” Xander’s breath hitched as emotions he’d pent up for far too long tried to overwhelm him.
“’s okay Xander, let it out, pet. ‘m right here; not goin’ anywhere.”
Xander allowed himself to get momentarily lost in the coddling and mothering of the blonde vampire. He knew he was in serious danger of losing his heart to the ‘Evil Undead’, if he hadn’t already, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It felt too good to be able to tell someone, too good to have that someone protect and comfort him… too good to be held in Spike’s arms. As ever seemed to happen with Xander, his mouth bypassed his brain as he began to tell the vampire about the last time. “It was the week before school started, Dad was in one of his ‘moods’- I could tell it was gonna be a bad one, so I called Jesse.” Xander clutched at Spike’s shirt reassuring himself that he wasn’t alone. “I don’t know when he got there, if it was before Dad started, but I remember… I remember praying, begging whatever powers there were to let him show up soon. I knew if Jesse saw, he’d find a way to stop it- I believed that, Spike. I had to. Anyway,” the dark youth rubbed his brow against the cool flesh of Spike’s collarbone, “my dad was ‘busy’ and I looked out the window hoping Jesse’d be there.” His breath caught and he made a little gasping/coughing sound before he continued. “He was.” Xander jerked his head up, warm, watery, bloodshot eyes seeking cool blue pools of solace, “He was there. Watching. More than watching. He was… gods, Spike…”
The vampire took Xander’s face in his hands, gently rubbing away tears and forcing the young mortal to focus on him, “Shh, shh, ‘m here, luv and ‘is not. Neither of them are. Jus’ you an’ me. Spike and Xander.” Then he kissed the human’s forehead and tucked his head into the crook of his neck as he rocked slowly, emitting a low soothing purr.
From his perch in the tree outside Xander’s bedroom, Jesse watched the now familiar scene play out in front of him.
A backhand to the normally smiling face, followed by a punch to the ribs- the crack could be heard even through the closed window. The boy curled into a foetal position as the blows and kicks rained down. When the blows ceased, the elder Harris grabbed his son by the waistband, yanking him to his hands and knees.
The young man in the tree was already hard, his erection pressing almost painfully against his jeans.
Gracelessly, Tony Harris ripped Xander’s pants and boxers off of him, then set to work releasing his own cock.
Outside, Jesse followed suit, grunting his pleasure as Xander’s father rammed into his son’s unprepared ass. Jesse’s hand easily followed the rhythm of the older man’s thrusts. He was so caught up in the actions and sensations that, at first, he didn’t notice the eyes watching him. When he did notice, he locked his eyes with Xander’s revelling in the fear and betrayal he saw there.
Within moments, both of Xander’s violators came.
Weak, beaten, and crushed the dark boy passed out.
Xander woke up in his bed, cleaned and bandaged with Jesse wrapped possessively around him.
As he tried to wriggle free, Jesse tightened his hold on the boy and spoke, “Do you have any idea how hot that was?”
The abused boy stilled.
“The look in your eyes when you saw me- exquisite.” The lanky teen rolled them so that he was atop his life-long friend. “Gonna fuck you so good, Xan. So good you won’t even remember that bastard ever touching you.” He kissed Xander hard and violent.
Within the week, Jesse was dead and his vampire-self dusted.
Family and Fiends