Title: Heart of a Slayer Ch 5-6 of 6
Feedback: Mys has decided that she actually likes FB, so… constructive crit is fine, just be prepared for Mys to defend/explain her choices, and try not to do any permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Beta: The wonderful kitty_alex, who loves to correct my mistakes and still manages to love the Mys when she ignores her sage advice! Apocalyae is so a word!!!!!!!!! :-P
Warnings/Squicks: HET SEX!
Summary: Xander undergoes a change, a change he likes, a change that sheds light on some of his quirks, then Spike steps in and things get... well...
NOTE: Chapter 6 is pure SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!
AN1: This takes place post-series for BtVS, and presumably goes off canon during AtS S5, comics????? *sticks fingers in ears* LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
AN2: Mys is going way outside her comfort zone with this, so positive reinforcement is her friend, lol.
AN3: The Mys wants to send huge hugs to her Precious Bumbly Bee (bmblbee for listening to me babble about this bunny and encouraging me not to run it over with a semi, but buy it a hutch. *HUGS*
And to her Xandra kitty_alex for putting up with my grumbling about this damn fic for MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!
ETA: Ack, sorry!!! The chapter headings are fixed now...
Months passed; vamp and Slayer enjoying the leisurely, unpressured time to explore their relationship and their bodies.
Xander still couldn’t believe how Spike made him feel- and not only physically, although that was its own revelation. Spike managed to do something none of the others had; he made Xander feel accepted.
The others had all gone along, however grudgingly, with Xander’s request not to be ‘fixed’ and eventually took up calling him by his ‘new’ name. But with Spike it was different. He never questioned Xander’s decision, but he always let Xander know it didn’t matter. And he never called him Lexa. Behind closed doors and with the original Scoobies, he was Xan or Xander and around anyone else he was ‘pet’ or ‘luv’. Spike never pushed, but he never let Xander forget either.
Somehow that incongruities mix of his past and his present by the man he loved made him feel more accepted than anything the others had done.
Spike loved the person inside and he made Xander feel that.
But that feeling was a double-edged sword. On one hand, he had this new life, he was strong and graceful and could fight with the best of them- he wasn’t the ‘normal one’, he had purpose. On the other, part of him felt like he was hiding, lying, and betraying himself and the memory of Xander Harris.
It wasn’t as if he’d asked for this. It had just happened; happened with Giles at the sti- uh, helm. The only thing Xander had chosen was to stay this way.
The wind picked up, blowing Xander’s dark hair. His eyes stung from the wind and the memories.
Behind him, Dawn climbed out onto the roof from the open attic window. “This a private party or can anybody brood?”
Xander chortled, “That obvious?”
The younger Summers nodded.
Brown eyes watched the full cotton candy clouds pass by. “Wanna know something, Dawnster?”
“Juicy titbits on what Spike’s like in bed would be nice,” Dawn practically bounced with amusement.
“I had to ask.” Dawn sat next to Xander, playfully swaying into the Slayer’s shoulder. “Tell me.”
Xander sighed, “Sometimes, I think I’m betraying myself.”
Dawn didn’t hide her confusion, “By being with Spike?”
“Huh? No,” Xander let out a tiny laugh, realizing Dawn was referring to his old ‘only good vamp is a dusty vamp’ philosophy, “I got over that idiocy years ago- the world’s not black and white, especially not ours.”
“Staying like this. It feels like I’m saying Xander Harris wasn’t good enough.”
“Do you remember what you told me back in Sunnydale after we found out I wasn’t a Potential?”
The brunette quirked an eyebrow at her.
“You said, ‘The others’ll never know how hard it is to be the one who isn’t chosen. Always living so near the spotlight but never in it.’” She squeezed her friend’s hand, “Maybe you needed this to remind you how special we are,” smiling she added, “or maybe you finally got your cape.”
Xander snickered, “Some cape,” as he wrapped an arm around Dawn, giving her a one armed hug. “How’d you get to be so smart?”
“Genetics,” the girl answered plainly. “Buffy got the Slayer gig; I got the brains.”
Xander lay out on the roof, watching the clouds and mulling over Dawn’s words… or his words… their words… whatever! The words- they were good words whose ever they were.
Eventually, Xander went back inside, his vampire should be finished with the Slayers’ training sessions which meant they could get some one on one time.
Spike was in the training room, straightening up and waiting for Xander. He heard the door open and soft hesitant footsteps approach him. The blonde didn’t look up as he asked, “Can I help you with something’, pet?”
The younger Slayer squeaked, but didn’t jump- Spike had to give her points for that. With a small gulp the girl replied, “We wanna know about Xander.”
Now the vampire turned to the little onyx-haired Slayer, his scarred eyebrow raised questioningly. No one had ever thought (or possibly dared) to ask him about Xander before.
“It’s…” she took a deep breath and her eyes seemed to harden along with her resolve, “Everyone tells us to ask Lexa, but she won’t tell us anything. Some of us thought you might know about him since you and her are so close.”
In a fluid motion the blonde vampire stood, looking the girl over appraisingly. “Camilla, isn’t it?”
A nervous nod answered him.
Smirking, “And what exactly do you want to know?”
“What happened to him?”
“This life happened to him.”
“What do you mean?”
Sighing he explained, “You and I, we got gifts, yeah. The kind that comes in shiny packages, so everyone who looks can see them. But Xan,” the vamp got a far away look in his eyes, “he had a true gift. He knew everything about this life, but he stayed and fought ‘cause it was the right thing to do. And he always did it with a smile, and more than a few snide comments. That boy,” Spike laughed remembering how Xander would come at him with his wit even when the whelp thought he was on the menu, “he had more heart and bravery than all of us combined.”
Camilla cocked her head, “Then why’d he leave?”
When the vampire’s only response was to hang his head, the young Slayer gasped.
“Oh, God. He did leave, right? He’s not dead, is he?”
Spike couldn’t hide the fleeting pain that shone in his crystal blue eyes. “All you need to know about Xander is, he’s a good man, he never stopped fighting, and we all love him.”
“Spike?” Lexa’s voice shook with emotion as she moved passed the younger Slayer to hug her vamp. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, it just happened and she was glad it had. She hadn’t realized how deeply this ‘change’ had affected her lover. Spike had been so supportive, she hadn’t even thought he missed the old Xander.
“I should go,” Camilla muttered urgently, not sure whether she wanted an eyeful of Slayer/vamp lovin’. “Thanks, Spike,” she called as she hurried out the door.
For long minutes, the two simply held each other, before finally returning to their bedroom and more importantly their bed.
That night, snug, accepted, and, above all, loved in the vampire’s arms, Lexa made a decision.
The room hummed with the static charge of raw power, and magic was thick in the air. Spike’s instincts howled at him to be anywhere, but here in this room. However, the brunette in his arms was more that reason enough for him to stay. The vampire held Xander close, letting the mortal know he was loved unconditionally.
Willow’s voice grew louder and stronger, the sound so much white noise against the soothing mantra of, “Love you, Xan, always will,” flowing from Spike’s lips.
Xander could feel the spell taking hold, every molecule of his body being ripped apart and thrown back together. His hands fisted, white-knuckle tight in Spike’s shirt as he let the vampire’s touch and scent comfort him.
A flash of blinding black inverted Xander’s world- seconds later, he passed out.
Xander woke to cool fingers stroking his brow. “Mmm,” he murmured, nuzzling his pillow and turning his head to follow the sensitive touch.
Glistening sapphire eyes greeted him, along with a warm chuckle and chaste kiss before the vampire spoke. “Morning, luv. How ya feelin’?”
“Like someone stuck me between a horde of PMSing Slayers and the last chocolate bar in a twenty-mile radius.”
“Closer to twenty-five, but who’s counting,” Spike quipped, barely containing his excitement at having his boy back.
Xander rolled his deep brown eyes, “Apparently you.”
Spike smiled lecherously down at his boy, “Welcome back, Xan.”
The feral, hungry look in his vampire’s eyes went straight to Xander’s crotch. He felt the familiar tingle as his cock began to lengthen and fill. Gasping, “It worked.”
“Sure did, pet.” Spike ran his hands over Xander’s broad shoulders, loving the feel of his hard flesh. Then down his arms, pulling the covers down as he went.
He’d been wanting for what seemed like an eternity- his boy, his Xander laid out before him, waiting, and wanting.
He started with Xander’s neck, suckling, nuzzling, and licking lazy sensual stripes up his throat.
Xander moaned his appreciation, hands grasping at the blonde’s shirt and pulling; desperate to feel Spike’s skin against his own.
Wordlessly, the blonde pulled his shirt off and went to work on his jeans.
Warm masculine hands pet and caressed every piece of the vampire’s exposed skin, knowing the feel yet discovering it for the first time.
Finally free of his clothing, Spike ripped the remaining bedding from his lover’s body. Dipping his head, he trailed his tongue down Xander’s breast bone. Slowly he circled his navel before moving back up to circle and tease the boy’s pert nipples.
Xander writhed and keened. It didn’t matter that they had made love many times before, now that he was him again it made everything seem new. His vampire was worshipping his body as if he was the only creature that existed, or mattered. It was maddening and it was heaven.
As Spike lathered attentions on his lover, he slicked his fingers and began working them inside his own body, stretching and filling him with a miniscule hint of what was to come. But before that, he wanted to taste Xander, to feel his heated shaft slide against his tongue and nudge the back of his throat. He wanted this Xander to permeate and possess every part of him.
Licking his way down the boy’s chest once again, Spike slid down Xander’s body until he was face to face with the thick flesh. Starting with kitten licks, Spike worked his way from base to tip; holding Xander in place while he took his time learning and tasting.
“Spike! Please!” Xander screamed, want and desire consuming him as surely as Spike himself was.
Pulling his eyes and mouth from his treat, Spike peered into eyes almost black with lust. Quirking his scarred brow, “Please what, pet?”
Xander stared at the vampire, he couldn’t want him to form sentences in this state?!?!?! “FUCK ME!” he managed to growl.
Breathless at the dark mortal’s aggressive tone, Spike wasted no time in straddling Xander’s legs and claiming his mouth in a kiss that screamed of ownership and tenderness.
The kiss was forceful, but not demanding, it took what was offered and gave in equal measure. As their tongues pumped and rubbed against each other Spike raised up positioning himself above Xander’s throbbing erection.
Pulling back from the kiss, Spike locked eyes with his lover and pushed down onto Xander‘s shaft. “Love you, Xander,” he chanted as he seated himself fully on the mortal’s cock.
“Spike…,” he gasped, walls clenching around him like a vice, “…love… always.”
A cool hand cupped Xander’s cheek, “Perfect,” as the vampire rode the young man; motions slow deliberate.
Matching his vamp thrust for thrust, Xander tried to hold back his climax, he’d never felt ANYTHING this wonderful. “Can’t last…,” he grunted.
“Come with me.”
A question? A command? A plea? Xander couldn’t be sure, but it didn’t matter. Reaching for his lover’s cool neglected shaft, Xander wrapped his large hand around it and squeezed. Pumping in strong rough stokes, he felt the vampire tighten around him, felt the shiver run through both their bodies and the pulse of cum filling Spike and covering his own hand.
Panting, the two men fell together, lips seeking and speaking at once. Promises and declarations that they both new to be true shared and affirmed.
Dazedly, Spike slipped off his boy, leaving their bed to fetch a warm cloth. Cleaned and sated, he curled against Xander’s side, head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat. “My Slayer.”